Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I am not alone

Day - 3 Health Score 80

I was admitted today to start what they call 'conditioning'. Which is a euphemism for 'poisoning'. Melphalan truly is a poison. The goal is to kill my bone marrow without killing me.I received the 1st dose today which is 70 mg/m2. The pre-medication was my favorite drug, Decadron. They also gave me 32mg of Zofran, an anti nausea drug.

As I lay in bed during the chemo infusion, I offered up a silent prayer. I heard the nurse enter the room to check on me. She asked how I was doing and I said that I was lost in thought. As I said this, I was trying to suppress my emotions. She responded, "Are you sure you are OK, because you are making a face?" I responded quietly, "It's the face of gratitude." She immediately understood and gently touched my arm. No other words were spoken.

I am physically alone here today; and yet I feel surrounded by the faith and support of so many people. Friends and family often ask what they can do for Barbie and me and our family. What they don't realize is that in the act alone of asking with sincerity, they have already done so much; to show that they care.


The 'Shades of Hell'
Stanford Rodin Sculpture Garden
(plaque below lists names as Decadron, Mephalan and Nasal Swab)


Anonymous said...

Kevin you are so right you are not alone! We are so praying for you, We love you. Your favorite mother in-law, Lydia

Anonymous said...

sounds like you are about to begin what might be the hardest part of your journey. I know you will do great. Thinking of you, thanks for the daily updates.

Dana Nanigian

Anonymous said...

Kevin, I try to read your and Barbie's comments daily and feel
inspided each time not only by your faith, but the love that surrounds you and your family.
It's a daily testament radiating
God's love through our family and
friends, and sometimes when words
are not need I realize that his
divine presence is there with you.
I pray for you and your family daily and feel blessed to have worked with you. Fondly Nita

Anonymous said...

We got a kick out of the sculpture by Rodin & its' plaque. It's good when a healing institution can also have a sense of humor.
Hope you feel well enough to go out & take another photo so we can see it out of the shadows.
love, Aunt Renie