Sometimes I may lie in bed for hours, awake, and with my mind racing; Random thought and remembrances. Occasionally some will push to the surface. They are not action plans, but mere reflections.
I guess I would call the following 'a poem in a minor key' because it has no tonic.
Only to paralyze us into inaction to neither submission nor reaction.
To what end do we profit from fear of the avoidable?
Deluding our actions into lives uncontrollable.
To what end do we profit from fear of the unknown?
Our light extinguished in failure to discover,
Whether it be a painful truth or a hidden jewel to uncover.
The only profit in fear is to those than feign sell us complacency.
That all pain is avoidable, that risk is unnecessary and that for a price we can be insulated.
Thus delaying our preparations in hope; that will free us to grow.
I am tired today. The throat pain is worse and eating is a struggle. I know it is temporary and will try to focus on other things.
WE WAIT IN JOYFUL HOPE
for Pac-man Melphalan
to chomp, chew & spit
each lousy little bit.
love, Aunt Renie
Dear Kevin, it was wonderful to see you yesterday. I enjoyed our talk. You have a way of calming. I finally understand what is ahead for me and appreciate how you explained each and every step of the way. I'm not afraid. After our talk I have decided to tell Dr. Schrier that I'm ready to do the stem cell transplant starting with the pre tests in April. You also helped me to understand that we won't have our normal lives back but a "new normal". I like that, a new normal life. So again thank you for your thoughtful explanations of the procedures I will be faced with. You are always truthful and never sugar coat it. I apprecitate that. I will pray for both of us that our future holds a "new normal life", free of those awful drugs like Decadron, go back to work, enjoy our kids and future grandkids and most importantly just every moment we have left on this earth. Thanks again my friend, Debbie Douglas
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