Wednesday, September 17, 2008

By his side

I am sitting in our hotel room waiting for the results of the biopsy and the decision to let us go home or not.  The past week my thoughts have reflected back to the beginning when all this started.  At the time of diagnosis, many articles we read mentioned fatal and not a candidate for heart transplant.  Even with great faith, a little part of me wondered if this was Kevin's time to leave this earth.  As we have moved forward to where we are now, many miracles have occurred.  The first and foremost is that Dr. Edwards at Mayo accepted Kevin as a candidate based on a 'feeling'.  Kevin was just as sick as many before him who were sent home.  The success rate for AL amyloidosis had been dismal in the past, even 2 years ago. Because of Dr. Edwards 'feeling' he spoke to the Stanford Team and they decided to move forward.  And with the help of the Kaiser Transplant Team, Kevin was listed at Stanford as well.  It was not his time to go.  For this I am eternally grateful.

So now we are in recovery mode with the anxiety of moving forward to treat the amyloidosis.  We did get an appointment with hematology at Stanford.  Again, we are grateful for the fast moving process to treat him.  I need him here for as long as possible; he calms my soul and comforts my worries. 

I have been thinking about the adjustment we will have going home.  We have been by each other's side during this entire process with the exception of two receptions.  When we go home and back to a routine, we won't be together all day.  I suppose we will adjust.  I let him start driving yesterday; it was strange to hand him over the keys.  It sort of felt like I was letting go of some of my freedom, but having been a passenger for 2 months, Kevin now has more patience for passengers and I for the driver.  I have left him at the hospital or the hotel room to run some errands, but he has never left me.  The moment we get home and he leaves to run an errand, I will feel the loss of his companionship.  This may sound very strange to many of you, but my sensitivity level has heightened.  I've taken care of him for so long now, I will worry when he is not with me, not a lot, but to some small degree.  As he gains more independence, I lose a little of him.  But to leave on a happy note, the fact that I have been able to be with him is a blessing and has made me love him more.


1 comment:

marniandgarth said...

Welcome home!! We look forward to seeing you "in the hood".

The Evans Fam